bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
