he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
