No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
