i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
