To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
