dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
