Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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