Me too!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
