I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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