would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
