I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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