Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
