the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
