Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
