She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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