He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
