I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
