Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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