There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
