haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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