I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
