i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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