I'm so fucking centered right now
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
