Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Drunk is not a location!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
