I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
