do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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