So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
