I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
