Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
