I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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