My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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