im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
