we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
