Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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