Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
