It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
