coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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