That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
