I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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