I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
