I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
