Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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