So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
