They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
