Im at strip club and am horny
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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