porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize