the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize