They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Is it penis luge time yet?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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