thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
