I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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