I wish i was in the wii world.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
