I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
