Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
