I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
