i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
