There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
