FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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