Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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