those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
