I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
