awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
