if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
