You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize