I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
