Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
