you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
