You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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