I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You can't motorboat a personality
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
