He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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