You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
