I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
