Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
