I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize